I’m celebrating the one year anniversary of creating this website. It’s not a coincidence that the last year has also seen more personal development and improvement than any previous year in my life. You see, discipline has a compounding effect.
When it comes to taking on a task as large as turning around your whole life, you can’t focus on the big picture, at least not at first. You must view every minute of every day as its own challenge.
It’s not easy to completely change all your habits along with most, if not everything about yourself. But it absolutely can be done in a year, if you commit.
How to start
Start making decisions and hold yourself accountable for little things. Starting out, these are the things you should focus on.
- Fitness plan that you will stick to
- Doing well at work or spending time finding a new job
- Developing skills that can make you money in the future
- Making sure interactions with women are purposeful and productive
Things you must accept
- Giving up comforts
- Leaving people behind
- Not talking about your journey
The first and most important aspect of improvement is the willingness to take on the journey alone. There may be those around to connect with who are on a similar mission as you, such as on Twitter. However, you must be willing and able to rely completely on yourself. Most people won’t ever get serious about improving their situations. You can’t allow their lack of progress to have any bearing on your success.
Most improvement is done in a solitary manner. Reading, lifting, learning, meditating, creating, and working are all best done in solitude. You must embrace it. If you’ve always had someone around you 24/7 like a surprising amount of younger guys have, you may have never taken the time to discover your true interests and thoughts.
Spend as much time as you can alone if you need serious improvement in your life. Social skills can always be refined once you’re a better overall package. There’s no sense in being the social butterfly who can’t hold down a job, never has any money, and is consistently getting fatter and uglier. Put yourself first and you will find that you are alone a lot.
Giving up comforts
How many soy boys do you know who can’t go without their morning latte or their $15 fast food lunch every day? Or how many guys do you know who struggle through the work week just so they can sit and rot on the couch and drink beer all weekend?
These things that have made modern men so comfortable have had a devastating effect. Even if you don’t do anything remarkable or even average in your life you still most likely always have a roof over your head, food on the table, and somewhere to sleep.
There’s no sense of urgency there. Of course you keep failing at making big changes in your life, you have absolutely no motivation to do so because you can always come home and numb your mind with some TV show until you fall asleep and do it all again the next day, all the while wishing something would come along and give you a swift kick in the ass.
Our ancestors had to do things like hunt for all their food, fight in wars so that their families could survive and their freedom could remain. Modern guys can completely remove themselves from society with no consequences through porn, monthly salaries, and conveniences.
If you really want to make some progress, consider removing as many of the everyday comforts as you can. You don’t have to sleep on a hard floor, although it may be a good test, but start by going an entire week without watching tv/porn. Once you see how much time it frees up you will begin to understand the impact the comforts have on your life.
Some more suggestions:
- Fast every morning until noon and stop your eating at 8pm
- Cook all your meals, forego things like caffeine and sugar
- Don’t listen to music in your car or during your workout, opt for audiobooks
- Wake up earlier
- Cold showers
Leaving people behind
This may be the hardest aspect of improving yourself. Over the years you’ve probably formed bonds with all kinds of people, some good influences and some awful. It’s hard to accept- there are some people out there who will always be fun to hang around with that are ultimately going to do nothing for you.
The guy who invites you to the VIP section at the clubs every weekend? He’s cool for the time being but when he turns 40 and is in huge debt from partying and trying to impress women you’re going to wish you dropped him.
There will be those who resent you for improving yourself. Get in shape and you’ll face all kinds of pushback. “You really shouldn’t show off your muscles like that” or “girls don’t like douches”. I recommend making friends that go the gym because they will understand the journey. You are getting better for a reason, you shouldn’t care how your friends feel about your newfound attention from the opposite sex.
Everyone has to be put on notice. This includes family members. If your own mom can’t accept that you want better for yourself then you must remove yourself from the toxicity. Nobody will truly understand your motivation and you don’t owe them an explanation.
Any cutting off of people must be done swiftly and with conviction. Nothing looks weaker than telling someone you’re cutting them off then agreeing to hang out the next week. This is about making a decision and sticking to your guns.
Not talking about your journey
This should go without saying. If you feel the need to tell everyone that you’re making changes in your life, you are doing it for all the wrong reasons. Feel no need to tell anyone anything. If they can’t tell that something is different about you by your progress then you aren’t working hard enough.
The great joy in the process comes when people who you haven’t seen in a long time ask you what you’ve been doing in a tone that shows extreme jealousy. Again, do it for yourself.
Bonus: Create something you’re passionate about
This website/Twitter has been a great outlet for me. It keeps me motivated when I feel like being lazy. It makes me accountable for the content and keeping up with it. If you have a project that you care that much about, the process of improving will be that much easier and rewarding.
Take care of the small things and the big things line up, you can upgrade your life in a year.